Home buying disagreements might be a common scenario for married couples looking to purchase their own house. This is not surprising since it is a fairly complicated financial endeavor. The smallest friction point can be magnified and turn into deal breakers especially when buying your first house.
There are a lot of things to consider and all these can take its toll on the relationship. You need to understand that buying a house should strengthen your marriage. The last thing you need is for the experience to drive a wedge in your relationship. If this happens, you might harbor ill-feelings towards your partner that can grow bigger over time.
Marriage and personal finance go hand in hand and that could not be more evident when you are buying a house. You need to work in tandem with your partner to ensure that the journey from start to finish helps you get the house that you want. And more importantly, a house that you both can afford.
One statistic that might interest you as you decide in purchasing your house is how younger people seems to live with their parents longer. Washingtonpost explains that in Americans between 18 to 34-year-olds, about 30% prefer to live with their parents. This is the highest it has been since 1880.
However, this statistic means that there are 70% of people choosing to go out and look for their own place. That includes renting and buying a place of their own. For married couples, this is probably one of the biggest decisions they will ever make after getting married. With this, here are a few things that usually causes home buying disagreements. The sooner you know about these factors, the better you can prepare for them
Amount of loan to take
It is not surprising that one of the things married couples would often disagree on is the total loan they will borrow from the bank. This is one of the first things couples would start to talk about especially since the repayment would take at the longest – three decades. This is a big financial obligation that they have to take up for years to come. Not to mention if you start factoring in the escrow payment for your mortgage loan.
As much as a house brings with it security as well as independence, there is no denying the huge financial implication it puts on your day to day budget. Once you take on a mortgage loan, it would sit on top as one of the biggest, if not the largest amounts that you pay on a monthly basis. This is a delicate development since Marriage site explains that money is one of the ten leading causes of divorce for couples.
Home buying disagreements can start when one thinks they can pay off a bigger amount than what they need. The mortgage payment every month impacts both partner’s financial ability. It also affects the couple’s short and long-term financial goals just by the sheer size of the financial obligation.
The type of house to buy can cause home buying disagreements
Apart from the sticker price, another item that causes friction between husband and wife when it comes to buying a house is the actual house itself. The way the house looks and feels like differs from one person to another. Even couples could have a different take on the type of house they want to come home to at the end of a tiring day.
The husband might want a place in the city so it can be close to most of their daily needs. The travel to and from work could be easier. Buying food can also be accomplished in a few minutes because the grocery is just a few blocks away. On the other hand, the wife might want a nice, quiet place in the suburbs with a garden and a sprawling backyard to host family and friends.
Home buying disagreements can stem from these differences in taste and appeal and even need. With this in mind, it is important to be able to sit down and discuss what you both like to have. In cases where you might have extreme opposites, find a way to meet halfway. The important thing to remember is that marriage should be bigger than any differences. You would be able to work around these challenges if you work together.
The size of the house can also be an issue
Census shared that in terms of size, the median size is over 2,400 square feet for a single-family dwelling. There might be instances where you pre-qualify for a big amount because of your high credit scores. However, it is not a green light for you to simply take it and find a house you can buy. It works the other way around.
You need to find a house that you both will agree on in terms of look, price, as well as size. Once you have that, make sure that you only loan the amount that you need. Taking less than what you need could make you scramble for funds especially with closing costs. On the other hand, taking more than what you need would increase your monthly payments. This will hurt your budget down the line.
The size of the house comes into factor when you start talking about the total price. Of course, location is a big consideration as well. However, the rule of thumb is that the bigger the house, the pricier it gets. You need to be able to decide on the type of house you want to call home for the next few years. As you accomplish that, you would be able to narrow down and pinpoint a price range for the loan you will be taking out.
Tips to manage home buying disagreements
When you find yourself in a crossroad with your spouse, here are a few things to do to make your home buying a lot smoother.
List down separate must-have items
Once you start looking at what you need versus what you want, there will be a lot of items on that list. The important thing is to start to write down all you need and want in a house. Do you need a big garage or just enough to fit a car? Do you want an island in the kitchen or nice countertops will do?
Talk about your list
Once you have a list, sit down with your spouse and go through them objectively. Talk about every single item on your list. Doing so will help both of you understand where you are both coming from. Take for example the number of rooms – one might want just two while the other wants to have four. If you do not talk about it, you might not understand that the topic is not as much as the room but the number of kids you want to have. This exercise gives you a chance to align your long term plans to the house.
Get your emotions in check
Once you start the conversation, you need to keep your emotions in check and be as objective as possible. A lot of times, your emotion could lead to money mistakes which is something you cannot afford when talking about a house purchase. There is just too much at stake financially for the both of you. Be considerate but have your priorities laid out as well to be able to have a great conversation.
There will be a lot of causes for home buying disagreements but you just have to remember that your marriage is more important than a house. Your love and concern for one another, as well as your desire to live a life together, will help you overcome these challenges.