There will be a number of financial disagreements you will have with your significant other over the course of your relationship. This is to be expected because there are no two people that are exactly alike. Even if you are already married, you will have even subtle differences from each other that can affect even your finances.
These differences can result in quarrels and fights over money as time goes by. One thing you need to remember is that even before tying the knot, you need to talk about your finances. This does not only revolve around your common goals but even your individual dreams. You also need to lay your cards on the table when talking about debt obligations.
Making sure to talk about your finances prior to the wedding can help lower the chances of financial disagreements. However, this does not guarantee smooth sailing the rest of the way. There will be instances when you will have disagreements when it comes to money. This is because you will continue to earn and spend money long after you get married.
This is why money problems will continue to be present in any relationship. It can vary in the amount or intensity of the problem but you need to get them through as a couple. Much like how you would address other areas of your marriage, there are ways to help you get through this specific ordeal. This is important as Psychology Today shares that disagreements can stop relationships dead in its track. Here are some things to look into to help you address this situation.
Trace the main cause of financial disagreements
This is the first step in solving the problem because it is quite challenging to face a situation that you do not truly understand. You are going in blind not knowing where to begin and how to proceed with the problem. If you and your spouse are having disagreements, you need to sit down and dissect the cause of the problem.
There are times when things are not as simple as they seem and you end up creating a bigger mess. As your doctor might have once told you, it is important to treat the root cause of a health problem than spend a lot of addressing the symptoms. The same way with your finances, your disagreements could simply be symptoms of a bigger problem.
Getting in debt could simply be the symptom of being an impulsive buyer when you are stressed out at work. This means that you need to work on addressing your stress level while paying down debt. This way, you get to pay off your obligations as well as prevent the same thing from happening again in the future. This keeps you away from raking up credit card charges because you were stressed out.
Do not dwell on the problem and focus on finding a solution
Once you have found the root cause for your financial disagreements, it is best not to dwell on it too much. As important as this is, you need to get to the next step which is looking for the solution to your problem. Once you identify the root cause, you begin to think of ways how you can solve it and move forward from the problem.
If you use too much time thinking about that problem, you would essentially be using up your energy playing the blame game. It would not be a productive approach which can lead to being in the same place for a long time. You could easily find yourself sulking about your current situation trying to find and pin blame on others.
Once you have a solution on hand, focus your energy on making it happen. It is not enough that you come up with a way around your money problems but your commitment to it plays a crucial part as well. Solutions to your money challenges as a couple need to be included in your routine to help you see actual results.
Put safeguards in place to prevent the same situation in the future
Financial disagreements when you are married is to be expected. The best thing you can do is face them together as soon as they come up in your relationship. However, when the same problem comes up on a regular basis, you need to do something about prevention already. It might not be enough that you solved the problem once. It might also be an example of addressing the symptoms and not the actual root cause of the problem.
Once you solve a financial problem, find a way to ensure that the same thing will not come up again in the future. Even if it does, you need to have a quick response to the problem. This way, it will not wreak havoc on your finances and even in your relationship. For this to happen, you need to put safeguards in place.
If the problem was being unaware of the amount you spend in a week, create a budget and stick to it. This is important as CNN shares that less than 50% of Americans use a budget. You can also buy everything you need at home to lessen the need to go out on short grocery runs that ruin the budget. You can also explore the possibility of having a small allowance you can spend every month without feeling guilty about it. Whatever the solution is, you need to work on it together and not hide problems from each other.
How to lower down financial disagreements in a relationship?
You can never take out disagreements in any relationship but there are a few things you can do to help lessen it. Here are a few of them worth looking at to help you have a blissful relationship.
Be open about your goals
This is something you need to be talking about long before you tie the knot and a topic you should be heavily involved in after marriage. Just as you need your partner to be supportive of your goals, you need to be that same person for them. You are two distinct individuals and you will each have different goals in life. However, you will also have common goals as a married couple and you need to work on those as well.
The idea is to always have an open line of communication between the two of you. This way, you are both updated with each other’s goals and desires and you can talk about common targets you have as well. You get to show support at every step of the way making it a lot easier for both of you to reach your goals in life.
Honesty goes a long way in a relationship
One of the best ways to help you solve and prevent financial disagreements is to cultivate an honest and open relationship. If you start hiding small items from your spouse, it will not take long after you are shuffling big amounts just to hide big expenses from your partner. If you are used to having honest communication with your spouse, you can avoid and even work on potential problems before they get out of hand.
Solve problems together
The most important aspect of taking on financial challenges in your marriage is working on them together. It does not matter how big or small they are as long as you solve them together. This is one way for your relationship to grow and you can also assess each other’s strengths and weaknesses when it comes to your finances. You then start to show more support on areas you need help with and begin to work more on items you are good at.
Financial disagreements will be part of a married relationship and the best way to deal with it is to acknowledge the problem and work on it together. The more you go through life’s challenges as a couple, you come out on the other side stronger full of love and respect for each other.